10. Too Much To Handle

I cant remember exactly how I found out, but that part doesn't matter.

The money I lent to Jay for him to get "treatment" was actually money that he needed to buy heroin for him and Dawson. The sob story was a complete lie. I was shaking in anger. I went out to my work that day just to confide in the people that were closest to me and Dawson's relationship, my bosses.
I was hoping I didn't run into Jay because my blood was boiling and all I wanted to do was kill him. I blamed him for everything. Dawson wouldn't have ever of relapsed if Jay didn't start working there. I was in the office talking to my bosses when Jay knocked on the door and walked in. I looked at him and stood up and Gina, my boss, stood up too. She knew I was about to lose it. All I can remember was turning towards him and I launched at him screaming "you piece of shit!". Gina grabbed me and held me back away from him and yelled at him to get out. She just held me there as I cried hysterically. If it wasn't for her I don't know what would have happened but I do know that it wouldn't have made me feel any better. I still didn't have Dawson and hurting Jay wouldn't change that.

I went home and I still didn't know where Dawson was.

I had a voicemail on my phone that I did not notice till late.
It was Dawson and he said crying,

"I'm sorry I ruined 6 months of your life, I really did love you so much.. I'm so sorry I was stupid and pissed the chance away.. it was all my fault I don't blame you. I'm gonna stay here for a little bit and then I'm gonna leave when I  figure out where I can go..ok..none of this is your fault. I'm sorry.Bye."

                    -I still have that voicemail saved to this day. I guess I listen to it because it was the                      only time I felt like Dawson was truly sorry for hurting me.

When I heard that, I just knew he needed serious help. I called the number back and as it turns out it was his mothers house. He wasn't there but I was sure he would show up again, so I sent him a Facebook message telling him to call me as soon as he had a way.
While all of this was going on I had the support of my family and my two best friends, Kyla and Miranda.
Kyla loved Dawson and never judged him for a second based on his past, unlike my family did. She and her boyfriend at the time, now husband, always hung out with us. Same went for Miranda.

 Along with my friends and family, a girl I went to high school with, Devlin, reached out to me on Facebook. She told me about an old relationship she had that was similar. She told me that she understood how I felt and that if I needed anyone to talk to she would be there for me. She is now one of my best friends.


                   With all the support and love all these people gave me, I still couldn't walk away from Dawson completely. I knew its what I should have done, but I wasn't ready to say goodbye.  My dad didn't want me to even be talking to him. Every time I went somewhere my dad wanted me to text or call him or my mother to let them know I was okay. He wanted me far away from Dawson and wanted me to be able to heal.

I finally got ahold of Dawson the next day and we talked. I cried and he cried, but he still wouldn't tell me he was on heroin. He told me he had been abusing pills for awhile but he was not using heroin. I told him to stop lying to me because its too late for any more lies. I was already gone. He took a deep breath and he admitted it. He told me for awhile he was just using pills but that day Jay came over, the day I was suspicious of, was the day he started using it again. He told me Jay had brought over a few "stamp bags" and for  awhile he contemplated it because he knew once he did that it would all be over, but he couldn't say no. He said he hated himself for lying to me for so long about the pills and over small things that he figured it didn't matter anymore, he was going to lose me anyways.
I was speechless for awhile. I asked him if he would get help and he said yes.

I was in contact with Rosco, and Rosco was in contact with Dawson through these rough couple days. Rosco was going to pick up Dawson from Latrobe and bring him back to our apartment, but I needed to go to the apartment to let him in because I had the keys.

I was scared to see Dawson. After two and a half days away, walking around Latrobe, staying from house to house...most likely getting high, he was bound to look awful. I also didn't know how my heart was going to handle seeing him after finding out everything that I did. I was just planning on letting him in and giving him his key and walking away for good. I had to do at least that. I promised myself I wouldn't stay in the relationship if he relapsed and lied to me.

Not only was I struggling with the heartache of Dawson, I was struggling with the fact that I knew I had to lie to my dad. I couldn't tell him where I was planning on going that night.

I do not lie, that is not who I am or what I do. However, I would have done anything for Dawson.

The moment came when I had to tell me dad I was leaving for a couple hours. I hated myself for this, but it was just going to be this once.

I wish it would have just been that once.

9. Emptiness

I heard his voice, and for the first time ever I didn't recognize it.

Dawson sounded awful. He was like a completely different person. He immediately started yelling at me. He said he was coming home and there was no reason for me to have left him. He was also angry I took his dog. I asked him where he was and he wouldn't tell me. He yelled at me to bring his dog back. I said not until I know your back in town because I refused to just drop off Buddie at the apartment with nobody there to take care of him.

Dawson was getting more angry with me and said that he would come and find me and take back what was his. He was also threatening my family until he got what he wanted.

I just cried and asked him why he was doing this. He yelled at me and said it was because I was accusing him of being on drugs when he wasn't and I just ruined his life. I just kept repeating I know you are doing heroin again, just admit it so I can help you. He laughed at me and hung up.

I just paced back and forth in my room. I was so sick, I ran to the bathroom.
How did I end up here? When did my life take this turn?
I just had tears streaming down my face. My dad had left for a little while so I called him in panic. I told him that Dawson had just called and threatened me. My dad assured me that he wasn't coming anywhere near our house. That he was just trying to manipulate me.

It was late at this point and I was exhausted. I hadn't ate anything all day and I was in so much heartache that I was shaking and breathing heavy. I was insanely stressed out and somehow I fell asleep.
I woke up periodically through the night and consistently checked my phone just hoping the man that I once knew would call or text and apologize. I just wanted him to admit everything to me. He never did though.

The next morning I woke up very early. I had realized with everything that had happened the day before I completely forgot I had a job interview at Finish Line in the mall.
How was I supposed to pull myself together and go to this interview. There was absolutely no way I could do this. I knew I had to go, I needed a second job. I couldn't survive off of the money I was making.

I got dressed, put some makeup on and practiced a smile. I could see the pain written all over my face, but maybe someone that doesn't know me wouldn't notice.
When I got there, the store manager took me out to a bench in the mall and sat me down. His name was Tim, and he was very nice and made me feel comfortable. He was very personable and I didn't want to mess this interview up because he seemed like a great person to work for. I could tell I wasn't doing a good job, I felt distracted with Dawson in the back of my mind. I apologized to Tim at the end and told him I was normally a lot more peppy and that I was just having a bad day. He told me I seemed peppy enough and then asked me what was going on. I couldn't answer that question and lie so I just said oh nothing just some stuff. He asked me again as we walked back towards the store and for whatever reason I just told him exactly what it was. I told him I had moved back into my house yesterday because I found out my boyfriend was on heroin. He just looked at me and said oh my. He shook my hand and wished me luck and said he would be in touch.

Now anyone knows not to say things like this in an interview but I didn't have my mind right this day and I knew I had just lost that potential job.

I slowly walked to my car, it was almost like I could see myself walking. I felt like I wasn't in my body. Why did I say that? Couldn't I just make it through 15 minutes of acting normal?

I went home and crawled into bed and cried some more. That's all I could do. I still couldn't eat a thing. I was going on two days of not eating. I held Buddie and I remember saying to him..."At least I got you out of all of this"

I felt like he knew what was happening because he stared at me with these eyes that just made me think he understands. I missed Dawson so much, the way he used to be.

Dawson sent me random messages and each time the location was different. None of the messages told me any valuable information. Dawson wanted his keys back from me. I had his old house keys and his apartment key because he left them in my car. I didn't want to give them back because I knew once I did there would be no reason for him to talk to me anymore.

Drugs change people. They turn people into someone they're not. They destroy lives. My life was destroyed and I wasn't even the one taking drugs. I was in love with a heroin addict and there was nothing I could do about it.

I found out something that made me even more sick and I was about to go off the deep end.

Everything was spiraling out of control and there was no end in sight.

8. Shattered

Driving him to work that morning seemed as normal as any day. I couldn't have known what was about to happen.

Dawson had kidney issues for a long time before he met me. He had always developed kidney stones from calcium buildup. For a month before this day we had several doctor visits and hospital visits because of his pain. He had a prescription for oxycodone before that I wasn't happy about. I didn't think an addict should be taking any narcotics no matter how excruciating the pain. Dawson assured me he wouldn't become addicted again. He said that the pills weren't strong enough to even make him crave more. I believed him so he took them. He had been out of his prescription long before this day, June 16th, arrived.

Every day we spent in our apartment Dawson just slept. He didn't want to eat much or even spend much time together. He was moody a lot and I never knew what to expect. I spent a lot more time with Buddie than I did with him.

Dawson had to work at 9am and I was off that day. We were driving to work and he was complaining of kidney pain. I told him to just try and power through it and that we had a doctors visit coming up. We got into our work parking lot and Dawson asked me for $60 so he could get a pain pill. I just looked at him and said you are absolutely not buying pills off the street and in what world is a pain pill $60.  He tried to tell me that's how much they cost but I was well aware of how much pills really did cost. He begged me and I said no and did my best to talk him out of the idea.

I went home and got on my phone and made sure I told my sister Happy Birthday and my father Happy Fathers Day. Dawson then sent me a message asking me yet again for the money. He knew I barely had any money left after lending Jay money and he also knew how upset I was with him for even asking. He said he was going to get it one way or another. He was starting to sound crazy. I told him if he even took a step into the direction of getting pain killers I would leave him and that I wasn't joking. I also told him I knew he was using again and that pills don't cost $60 and it was obvious he was trying to score some heroin. He argued a little back and I just kept trying to get him to admit it to me.
 He text me back and he said and I quote..."Fuck you I just want to feel normal again"
I absolutely lost it at this point. I couldn't believe he just said that to me. What was that even supposed to mean?
I told him I was going to leave. I told him I said that from day one. He told me he was going to walk out of work so he could go get his pills.
I knew as soon as he said that he was truly about to quit his job, and once he walked out of that building I would have no way of communication with him. I could only talk to him through WIFI because he didn't have an actual phone. We only ever talked through Facebook messenger.

I felt my stomach in my throat. I was breathing heavy and couldn't think straight. My world was crashing down on me and I didn't know what to do. I text my sister and told her what was happening and she called my father. My father called me and asked what was going on and I just cried and said I think Dawson is on drugs again and he asked me if I wanted to come home and without hesitation I said yes. He told me to hold tight and he would be there as soon as possible.

I then called the owner of our work and told her what Dawson said because I knew she was about to have no cook at the restaurant. She told me to breathe and that she would send her son Alec over to help me move out. Alec was like a brother to me. I had known him for years and we grew so close.

There was a knock on my door and I opened it up and Alec was standing there. I collapsed into his arms. I couldn't stop crying. The pain in my heart was beyond repair. He just held me and let me cry.
Alec's mom had also called a close friend Andre to come help me as well. He showed up next, and then followed my dad. When my dad arrived, I just looked at him with my eyes bloodshot and watery. He looked back at me with this look on his face of anger and sadness. He was sad for me but so angry at Dawson. I knew he wanted to kill him for hurting me. We had packed up all my stuff and had it in all three cars along with my dads truck in the matter of 15 minutes.

I looked at my dad and asked him if I could bring Buddie home with me. I told him I didn't know if Dawson would ever come back and I couldn't just leave our dog their that I was starting to love very much. My dad let me bring him home with the intention of figuring out where Buddie was going to go next. It wasn't supposed to be a permanent thing and I knew that.
We got all my stuff moved back into my old room at home. I had left all the food, two plates, silverware, a pillow, blanket, and all of Dawson's clothing for him in case he did come back.

Alec and Andre went home. I sat on my bed in shock that just 2 weeks ago I was moving into my apartment excited to begin my future with Dawson and its now completely shattered. I had never felt pain like this in my life. I just cried and cried, my dad was next to me every moment of that day. It was Fathers Day and this is how my dad got to spend it. I hated myself for it.

I was sick. I couldn't eat. I couldn't think. I didn't know where Dawson was. I didn't know if he alive. I was heartbroken.

Heartache is real, its not something we make up because we are sad. Its real pain. My heart felt like it was going to explode. There were knots all through my stomach. I felt like I had no reason to be alive at this point. The pain that I was in was agonizing, and with every minute I didn't hear from Dawson it got worse. I looked at Buddie and I promised him no matter what happened next I would take care of him.

Hours went by and still I heard nothing from Dawson. I had left him several messages letting him know I moved out and that I took the dog with me. I knew he wasn't reading them but I couldn't stop texting him.

Later that night, my phone rang and it was a number I didn't know. It was Dawson.

7. The First Tear

I remember standing there for a few minutes shaking. I was just sad, very sad.

I looked him in the eye with tears rolling down my face and I turned my back and walked out. I got in my car and I left. I got about ten minutes down the road when he text me and said something along the lines of being sorry he yelled at me.
I pulled over and that was the moment I gave up on myself. I now know that.
I turned around and I went back to his house. I went in and apologized to him. I had no right to ask him something like that. Just based on assumptions. I was in the wrong. At least that's what I kept saying. He told me it was okay and hugged me. The rest of that day I was uneasy and I had doubts, but I needed to stop living in fear and doubt. Ever since Jay came into our lives, I doubted Dawson.

The next couple weeks weren't the same. Dawson was always taking several long bathroom breaks at work and when he would come back into the kitchen he seemed different. Almost like he wasn't fully there. I thought he was on drugs again, but I just kept living in denial. I would pick him up from work on the days I didn't work and on the car ride home I would be talking to him, and his head would start falling down. He was nodding off, I knew it had to be drugs. He just told me he was tired so I made myself believe it. Dawson loved me. He wouldn't lie to me.

We were still looking for apartments. Dawson said he wanted to quit his job because he was unhappy and thought Jay was trying to "take his job". He said his best friend Rosco wanted him to come work for him again and help run his pizza shop. I was completely supportive of that because I wanted Dawson as far away from Jay as I could get him. I knew deep down something shady was going on but I wouldn't admit it. We found a place in Greensburg that was perfect for us and Buddie. I wasn't attached to his dog at all but I wasn't going to move somewhere we couldn't take Buddie. We told Rosco we found a place but they wanted a huge deposit that we just didn't have. He offered to lend it to us but Dawson had to pay it all back with interest. Dawson agreed to it and before we knew it we had our place. This was so exciting for me cause this was the first time my name was on a lease and with the man I loved. We moved in June 1st, 2013. Dawson still had to put his notice in at work, but he was waiting to make sure everything was lined up with his new job. In the meantime we had a bit of a drive to work. We also only had one way of transportation and that was my car.

We had nothing moved in but dishes and a bed and a TV. We would eventually get the couches moved in from the old place, but in the meantime we sat on the floor and ate our dinners off of moving boxes. We had each other and that's all that mattered. We were starting our future.

We got paid that week and Dawson gave me half of the rent. We needed half each pay since we only got paid twice a month. Dawson was going to pay the rent and I would pay the electric and groceries. I also didn't have to pay as much since I was the only one of us paying a car payment and driving everywhere.

He handed me close to $300 cash and I stuck it in my top drawer until I could go to the bank. A few days later I went to get the money out and it was missing. I started to panic. I tore my dresser apart. I searched everywhere. Dawson was at work so I called him and I was crying and asked him if he took the money and he promised me he didn't touch it. He calmed me down and told me that I probably misplaced it or something and that we would find it when he got home. When he got home that day we looked together and it was gone. There was only two people in our apartment other than us. My dad and our friend who let our dog out while we both doubled at work one day. Dawson basically convinced me our friend had to of taken it. So I asked my friend if he came across it and he said no. I felt in my heart Dawson had taken it but I was more willing to blame someone else. I was crying because we wouldn't be able to pay our rent. Dawson looked me in the eyes and said he would have enough in his next pay to cover it all and everything would be okay. So I trusted in him.


Dawson was still associating with Jay even though he talked badly about him. I didn't understand it at all. Jay had a truck so Dawson told me he was going to help him pick up the couches and drive him home one night. A few hours went by and Dawson still wasn't back. He finally showed up with no furniture. He told me he was locked out of the old house and didn't have his keys on him.

We were sitting in bed talking and he told me how Jay started crying to him on the way home explaining how he wants to go get treatment because he started taking drugs again but the place wont accept him without a deposit of $150 and he didn't have any money. I looked at Dawson and said I wanted to help him. I only had $200 to my name but I was willing to help save his life. I called Jay and I told him that Dawson had explained his situation to me and that I wanted to lend him the money. He was so thankful and promised to pay me back when we got paid. I made it very clear how important it was that he paid me back as soon as pay day came. He promised me. It was only five days away.

June 16th came. It was Fathers Day as well as my sisters birthday. Also, it marked two weeks of us living together in our apartment.

I thought it was going to be a perfect day. With tears in my eyes as I write this, I can tell you it turned out to be one of the worst days of my life. A day I will live with forever and heartache that will never subside.

6. Many Moons

I wasn't ready to be a mother at 22. Especially to children that weren't my own.

Dawson finally came to a court ordered agreement to see his children Tuesdays and Thursdays for half the day. His daughter was two and his son was three. I decided to meet them one day. I was scared because I wasn't big on kids to begin with. I loved him and saw a life with him so I needed to deal with what I handed myself.
The kids were great, and he was great with them. I gradually came over a little more each time and the kids loved me. Diapers and baby drool wasn't really my thing so I was a little bit stand-offish with them. I got scared and felt very overwhelmed so I told Dawson I wasn't going to come over and stay there the whole time he had his kids. He understood that it was a lot for me to handle let alone a huge change. Not to mention his ex constantly harassed us every time we had the kids. She would call non stop and randomly show up and yell through the windows because we wouldn't answer the phone. Dawson had a right to be alone with his kids. He was a great father and she was just plain crazy and angry with us both. We didn't want the kids around the fighting so we tried our best to avoid her.

Dawson's son would always ask to call his father when he was with his mother so she would call us and let him talk to Dawson for a little bit and then she would take the phone off of him and we would hear her tell him awful things like "Daddy doesn't love you" She would use the kids against us and it made us sick.

For a couple weeks Dawson couldn't take the kids because of his work schedule. A couple weeks turned into a couple more. Before you knew it a month had gone by that he didn't see his kids. It was April at this point.
Around this time a new guy was hired at work, and his name was Jay. I just remember Dawson being on edge and very nervous. He pulled me to the back and said that the new guy told him he was a "recovering" heroin addict. Dawson didn't want him to work there because he didn't want to relapse himself. He figured being around someone with the same issue would possibly destroy his sobriety. He asked me not to say anything because he would eventually have to deal with this situation. Dawson was a little over a year clean so the last thing I wanted was for him to be at risk. So I went against his wish. I told the owners what Dawson had told me. They pulled him into the office and they discussed it with him. I guess the decided to keep Jay with Dawson's blessing.

I was not happy with this decision. Only because I wanted to keep him safe. He was clean and we were happy and I didn't want anything to destroy that.
Over some time I got to know Jay and he was a very nice guy who occasionally drank a little too much, but didn't we all? I was okay with him working with us and we all got along very well.

Dawson and I started thinking about getting a place together. We were together all the time so we may as well of been living together. So the search began.

Everything was perfect. There wasn't one thing I could complain about. Until one day I started to notice Dawson's attitude was changing.
Jay always called Dawson at home and I didn't know why. I would ask but Dawson just told me he was asking questions about work. I guess in the back of my mind I was starting to question if he was being honest with me, but I never actually questioned him. I didn't want my fears to ruin something great.

One day I was at work and Dawson was at home. We were texting and he said Jay was coming over. I instantly got scared and started asking a thousand questions. I just felt in my heart that something was wrong. I knew nothing about drugs, or signs that someone was on drugs. Hell, I didn't even know what heroin looked like. I just remember watching the clock waiting for my shift to end so I could get to his house. Once 4pm hit I ran. I flew down the road to his house faster than I ever have.

I don't know why I did this. The feeling I had in my stomach and heart was something I couldn't explain. I got out of my car and looked all through the yard..I don't know what I was looking for but I was just looking for something out of the ordinary. I walked into the house and Dawson was on the floor playing Xbox and I just said hello and he answered but didn't look at me. The sound of his voice was different. He slurred his words.

I instantly snapped and yelled "ARE YOU HIGH?!"
Dawson snapped and his response was "NO. GET THE FUCK OUT "
I can remember the exact words. The exact sound of his voice, I had never heard him speak like that to me in the time we had been together. He never swore at me once until this moment.

That day will haunt me the rest of my life. The way I felt..I can still feel that to this day.

5. The First Lie

I knew he had lied to me, but was it important enough for me to be mad? I had to be angry with him. We had an honest and open relationship and it was unacceptable for even the smallest, dumbest lie.

In between my seat was a receipt. When I looked at it, it was for a store inside the mall. Dawson drove my car twenty minutes to the mall and lied directly to my face the day before. He never mentioned going to the mall. He told me he didn't find a thing, meanwhile this receipt showed he had found $40 worth of clothing.
I was more confused than anything. Our relationship was amazing. Why would he need to lie about this? Not to mention he didn't even ask me if he could take my car the whole way to the mall. Normally I would not care where he went but because he didn't have a license it was kind of a big deal.
I played out in my head what I was going to say when I got to work. I came up with several scenarios because what else was there to do in the twenty-five minute drive from my house to work?

When I got to work, I walked into the kitchen and there was Dawson standing there with a huge smile, excited to see me. I just threw the receipt down in front of him and stared him in the face. He looked at me with disappointed and walked away into the back room.
I had to follow him, I was waiting for an explanation. I looked at him and asked why he lied to me. He just stood there looking scared and sad and just said "I don't know"
But how could he not know? There had to be a reason he didn't want to tell me.
We just stared in silence as he continued to walk away from me. I was angry with him.

I was just thinking to myself...wait a second..why are you walking away from me and why am I chasing you waiting for an apology? This is unfair..I didn't do anything wrong here.

So I decided to walk away. I went back towards the kitchen. I gave it about five minutes and Dawson still hadn't come back.

    I thought about it and I made an excuse for him. I decided to myself that Dawson was probably too scared to tell me he went to the mall because it wasn't what we had previously discussed. And knowing how his ex was, he had every reason to be scared to tell me.

I went back to see Dawson and I just took him by the hand and told him that I loved him very much but lying in our relationship is something I would not stand for. I also told him that it was okay and I understood why he didn't tell me but from that day on he needed to be completely honest with me.
He hugged me and promised he would never lie to me again.

I didn't know it then, but that was the day, the minute, the very second I let him walk all over me. I broke and made excuses for him. When I thought it would be the only time, it turned out to be the first of many times.

In retrospect that should have told me something very important. But as we all know, LOVE IS BLIND.

4. Starting It All

When it first began everything was perfect.

He bought me a dozen roses one week into dating. I was thrilled. It was so thoughtful just like Dawson was.

He was on house arrest still and his soon to be ex wife was still living in their house waiting on the apartment to be available. I couldn't go to his place and he couldn't come to mine. He had a curfew from his probation officer. He was allowed to leave his house for work and was given a window to get to work and to get home from work. Working in a bar together was nice because we got to socialize together when our shifts ended but sometimes we didn't want to be around other people because we wanted that one on one time to get to know things about each other.
Our options were very limited, so we would sit in my car for an hour and just talk in the parking lot of our work. Sometimes we played cards even. I enjoyed every minute we got to share together even though it was for a small amount of time.

Dawson's wife finally moved into her new apartment. we were able to have a normal relationship. I mean it was normal other than the not being able to go anywhere due to the house arrest.

The first night I went to his house I was really nervous. I wasn't sure what to expect. He had a dog and his name was Buddie. He was the sweetest dog ever, he was so playful and loving. That was something that I really liked because I am a huge dog lover.

When his ex moved out she left the dog and that was about it. Dawson got old furniture from family members. There was two couches and a TV, however she left him no dishes, food, cookware, or somewhere to sleep.

The next time I went over I bought him the necessities as a surprise. I showed up with bath towels, silverware, curtains, pillows, and many other things. He was so thankful. It didn't take long before I started staying the night at his place. I just never wanted to be apart from him. We never grew tired of one another.

One morning, there was a knock at the door. It was February 11th, 2013. His probation officer showed up to remove his ankle bracelet. We had no idea he was getting off house arrest. We were under the impression he had a few more weeks to go. We were so excited we immediately got in the car and just drove.

With Dawson being off house arrest, this meant he could drink finally. Not that he was a big drinker to begin with, but being able to do what he wanted was freeing for him.

This worried me because I was scared he would start using drugs again. He had an addiction to heroin and pills in his past. We had a talk about my worries. He promised me he would never go back to using again because his life was perfect now that he was finally happy again. I told him if for whatever reason he started to use again that I would leave him because I refused to be around that lifestyle. He was perfectly okay with me feeling that way and really supportive of my beliefs.

Life was good, it couldn't have been better. My friends loved Dawson and we were a perfect match. He made me a better person. I had a man in my life who was affectionate, understanding and extremely respectful. What more could I want? I trusted him completely.

My parents knew about him and were a little leery about it because he was a recovering addict who was still married with children. They thought that was too much baggage for me, but they were willing to meet him and give him the benefit of the doubt...well more so my mother than my father. They would eventually meet him, but I wanted more time with him before I did that. I still hadn't met Dawson's children. I wanted to do that in my own time and Dawson agreed with my every decision. Besides, Dawson and his ex still needed to work out a custody agreement for the children so even he didn't get to see them at first.

We wanted to go out and celebrate his first weekend off house arrest. He wanted new clothes so he could look nice. Dawson didn't have a car or even his drivers license because it was suspended. I couldn't take him because I had to work, so we agreed he could borrow my car and go to Walmart since it was across the highway from our work. I let him take my car and told him to just drive it home when he was done because his house was only five minutes from Walmart as well. He could pick me up from work afterwards.

When he picked me up that day I asked him if he found anything nice. He told me he didn't get anything unfortunately. We left it at that and continued to talk about our days. I went home that night instead of staying at his place.

The next day, I got into my car to drive to work and I noticed something sticking out of my seat on the side. When I saw what it was I was shocked and livid.