Dawson and I decided we were going to wait till after Christmas to announce our engagement.
I didn't want to upset anyone on Christmas in case they weren't happy about our engagement. I figured I would wait until the next day to tell my mom and hopefully have the courage to tell my dad.
We celebrated Christmas at my moms house.
Kassi, my sister, was very nice towards Dawson despite how angry she still was with him. Before the whole family arrived, my sister and I were in the bathroom and she could just tell I was hiding something. She knew exactly what was going on and she was not happy about it. She was more upset with the fact that I didn't tell her the minute I got engaged. I told her I knew how upset she was with Dawson and I just wanting to enjoy the moment before I had to tell everyone. We talked more about it and she eventually hugged me and told me she would support me. I was so relieved my sister knew. Not telling her right away wasn't easy for me.
The family came over and we ate dinner and exchanged gifts. Dawson and I were so happy. It was a perfect holiday and our first Christmas together.
A couple days later I decided I had to suck it up and tell my mom. I went to her house before work and we sat down to talk. I remember fidgeting a lot with my hands and my voice was shaky. I told her I needed to tell her something and that I really didn't want her to be upset. She said okay and I just blurted it out and immediately started crying saying how I didn't want her to be mad or disappointed because I was really happy and I just wanted her to be happy for me. She hugged me and said she had a feeling I was going to tell her that. She asked to see my ring and told me it was beautiful. My mom was definitely worried but trying to be as kind and supportive as she could be. She asked me if I told my dad yet and I said no and that I was scared to. She basically told me that I needed to tell him sooner than later, and she was right.
So I planned to tell him that evening after work.
When I went home that night I sat down on the couch and told my dad that Dawson had proposed to me. The first thing out of my dads mouth was.."and what did you say?" He looked really angry. I told him I said yes but its not like we were going to get married right away. My dad was not happy, he told me that its completely ridiculous and he would never ever support it. I cried a little but I knew what he was going to tell me before I said anything so I was already prepared. I was waiting for my dad to start screaming at me, I knew it was coming. But he didn't. He just looked at me with extreme disappointment and walked away.
I went to my room and I just cried. I knew it was going to be hard to tell my dad, but I didn't realize how much his disapproval was going to break my heart.
I wanted my dad to love Dawson just as much as I did, but it wasn't going to happen.
Atleast my friends, mom, and sister would support me. I also thought about how once my dad would see how well things were going he would come around.
Things were great, other than my dads disapproval, and I wanted to set a date. Dawson wanted a 3 year engagement and I only wanted 2. However, after Dawson explained to me that we financially didn't have the money to plan a wedding and pay for it within 2 years I accepted 3. We decided on May 21st, 2016.
I was thrilled! I started to pick out colors and look at venues just because I wanted to know exactly how much we would need to save. We also started a wedding jar and each of us put $20 in a week.
I was happy for awhile, but nobody was taking our engagement seriously. Not one person in my family called to congratulate us and that was very annoying. A month went by and still nobody had said anything to us. My sister got engaged in January, and immediately everyone was blowing up her phone congratulating her and asking a million questions. It really hurt my feelings that she had every bit of attention and I had none. It wasn't her fault, but I still felt upset with her.
Kassi called me to talk to me because she knew my feelings were hurt. She tried to explain to me why more people were paying attention to her and not thinking anything about my engagement. She was going to get married that Septemeber and our plans were for more in the future, and she was also dating her fiancé for many years. I understood but it didn't make me feel any better about it.
I always felt like I was in the shadow of my sister. She was popular and I wasn't, she was the smart one and I was the dumb one. She made prom court in high school and had guys always chasing after her, and I couldn't even get a date. I just wanted to be in the spotlight for once, and it wasn't going to happen.
I couldn't blame her for any of it. She deserved the perfect engagement.
Valentines Day was only a month away, and I wanted to have the most romantic night with Dawson, so I got myself into an exciting state. I needed to ignore the engagements and focus on something else.
