30. The Letter

I'm going to type it out for everyone below, because it is hard to read and he wasn't the best at spelling, so I will be correcting the spelling so everyone can understand what he was saying.

" To the most important woman in my life!!! (Jenna Robosky)

It didn't always show, (No ones fault but my own. I always knew from the moment I first saw her. I had something I never had or even seen before. Her beauty and personality had never been scratched on the surface. It was like a Christmas present freshly wrapped under the tree appealing to anyone that had laid eyes on it, man, woman, and child alike. Jenna was one of a kind and all mine.

But in the light of my past I was caught up in lies and even drugs. I couldn't break the old habits I had developed from my past life. I was so used to lying to get through the day that sometimes I didn't even know what was a lie anymore (I had told so many different lies). I felt no one could love me for who I really was, but Jenna showed me wrong. I began lying to her over stupid stuff. Things that hurt more than what I was trying to cover up. Lies that cut her and hurt her so much that not any ordinary woman could ever get passed or through without "cutting a bitch!"

Jenna's love being so true and pure showed me that if I put the time and heart that she put into everything she did, that u could be a good person. I could be loved, I could have a happy and sober life. I owe Jenna Robosky so many things it will take a lifetime ad more just to come close to treating her the was she deserves.

Do you know the first thing I do every day is thank God for showing that good people do live on this earth and that the best one of all is sitting or laying right next to me in "OUR BED" and that I have a chance to be the man I always felt I was. So I can spend every moment I can with her "Just to see her smile." Thanks to Jenna Robosky I can live again!!!

I WILL NEVER MAKE THE SAME BAD CHOICES AGAIN!

I love you Jenna. Please Marry Me.

xoxoxxoo"

I cry when I read this, still. It's heartbreaking because I don't know if he meant any of this at the time. I don't know if he truly wanted to be a good man for me, and himself. I don't know, and I never will. That's what cuts the deepest, is not knowing what was even real, if anything ever was.