You would think that after so many terrible things happened, there would have to be an end to it. No, there wasn't an end to it.
Now don't get me wrong, we had some great times too. I'd like to tell you that he took me on many dates and bought me flowers all the time, and just surprised me with silly things like every girl wants in a relationship. That wasn't us. I paid 98% of the time if we went out somewhere. He didn't take me anywhere because he had no car. I'm not materialistic so things like that weren't too important to me at first. Dawson didn't buy me flowers or things like that because he never had extra money. He would cook for me and write me poems and that was enough for me. As long as I knew I was loved I was okay. Every time I would see him he would have the biggest smile on his face and hug me like it was the last time he'd ever see me. We had a lot of romance and love. We just didn't get the normal relationship like most people have.
By the time this thing happened with the incident at his work it was October of 2013, and we were together for just about 10 months. Dawson was different and he was having lots of kidney issues so I knew he was in pain and I never wanted him to fill his narcotic prescriptions so he wouldn't. Dawson was almost 4 months clean when he relapsed again. Now it wasn't a relapse in the sense that it was the time before but he did slip up and buy a few oxys off the street. He came clean to me about it on his own. He said his kidney pain was unbearable and he couldn't fill his prescription because I would get upset. He said he didn't buy them to get high and it was strictly for pain. Either way it was a relapse to him and to me. He was dependent on those pain pills and once it started it wasn't going to stop. I was glad he came to me before it got out of control again. I was also really upset because he had to start all over again.
Not too long after that Kyla asked me to come over her house to hang out. When I got there she said that she thought she was pregnant because she was late. We went to the store to get a test.
She was pregnant! I was so nervous for her but excited at the same time. We always promised each other that whenever one of us got pregnant the other would try. Only I knew I couldn't follow through with that promise. Dawson and I were not ready for a baby.
All of November Dawson and I worked on our relationship and our communication. We were getting along so well and we were happier than ever. Kyla was amazing during all of my issues with Dawson. She was always right by my side supporting me. Whatever I wanted that's what she wanted, and whatever I needed, she was there to help. When I needed to cry, she was there. When I just wanted to talk about how happy I was, she was there cheering me on. She truly was my biggest fan, and I was hers.
Both her and I wanted our boyfriends to eventually propose. She was having a baby with hers, but even without the baby he was the one for her. She wanting to marry him regardless. I wanted to marry Dawson, I knew that from day one. When you meet the one, you just know without any doubts.
December came before we knew it and everything was still going well. Kyla was just a month pregnant and Dawson and I were still going strong. I had a feeling Dawson was going to propose on our one year (December 28th). I was telling everyone that I felt like it was coming. Well everyone except for my family. I knew Dawson wasn't going to get my fathers permission and that definitely killed what I always hoped for, but life wasn't going as I planned and I didn't expect anything to pan out like I dreamt of. One thing I knew was that no matter how or when he proposed it was going to be special to me. I also knew that I wasn't going to get that dream ring due to our financial situation but that didn't matter to me either. I just wanted to marry him.
December 23rd came and we were going to go Christmas shopping at the mall. Dawson was acting really strange the entire car ride to the mall. I was worried something had happened and honestly it wouldn't of surprised me. Things were going so well and every time things were good, something ruined it.
We got to the mall and I parked. Dawson just got out of the car before I turned it off. I wasn't ready to get out yet so I took my time. When I got out I turned and shut my door, and when I turned to him he was down on one knee. I just started smiling because I thought he was screwing with me. He pulled out a box and looked at me and said
"This isn't how I wanted to do this, but I cant wait another day. Jenna, I love you and I want to spend my life with you. Will you marry me?"
I was just smiling from ear to ear and I remember saying
"Are you serious, no this isn't real, wait are you for real?"
He said yes and I just asked him like 2 or 3 more times if he was serious. I didn't want to get too excited cause he had pranked me a few times in the past to make me thing he was going to propose.
He was still down on one knee and he said
"Baby its really cold can you please answer me?"
I just yelled yes, and there were two people across the parking lot watching. He put the ring on my finger and I didn't even look at it. I just grabbed him and kissed him about 100 times. This was the best moment of my life. It wasn't romantic in any way but he was the love of my life and I was engaged to him. When we got inside he asked me if I was going to look at my ring so I did and he apologized to me that it wasn't as big as I wanted but he told me we could trade up over time. I just told him I loved it and I didn't care because I truly didn't. The first thing I did was send Kyla a picture. She was so happy for me. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world.
We went into Finish Line and I threw my hand up in the air and showed Tim, he was so happy for us. Having that support was everything.
All of the hell I went through paid off and I could finally live out my dream with the man of my dreams. If I could go back to that day and just be there with him in that happiness and never let that go, I would.
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