Have you ever had this feeling in your stomach that just took over your body?
All you want to do is throw up, because the fear of hearing what you think you know is almost too overwhelming that the only option you have is to either face it and potentially be even more sick than you already are, or ignore it and have this constant feeling in your gut.That's how I felt the entire night before I faced this teenage girl at Rosco's. Dawson had no idea that I was going to ask her. I needed to know the truth because I had this feeling Dawson wasn't being honest. And if he did do what I was told, then I would consider that cheating. There should never be any physical contact with another girl, ever. It's inexcusable. I told Kyla I was going to ask her just so I could put these accusations to rest.
The next evening I drove Dawson to work. We both went in and he headed up to the bathroom. I asked the girl to come over to my bench I was sitting at and I looked her dead in the eyes and told her that I had a Facebook message I wanted her to read and I wanted to know her response to it...so she read it.
When she finished reading she looked at me, I could see fear in her eyes. She said I am so sorry but its true. She then started to ramble on about how nice of a person I am and that I didn't deserve it but she didn't know how to tell me. I looked at her and told her that she's 16 and it wasn't her fault. He was her boss and in a situation like that it can be extremely uncomfortable. I asked her if she would confront Dawson with me and she said yes. We walked up towards the bathroom and she was scared and shaking. As he walked out of the bathroom, he just stopped dead in his tracks and I said so you did do it.
He didn't say a word he just bolted outside. I followed him and I was on the verge of tears and I said how could you do this? He started yelling at me and said now he couldn't go back in there because I made his job uncomfortable. I cried and yelled that he cheated on me. He just walked away quickly and headed towards his house.
His roommate came outside and he knew exactly what was going on. I was crying and I asked him what to do. He told me that if he had the chance to be in love and have the happiness Dawson and I had he wouldn't throw it away over something that might not be as big of a deal as what I think. He also told me that he shouldn't have slapped her butt, but it didn't mean that he thought anything of it.
I went up to Dawsons apartment and he was angry and upset. He asked why I had to do that at his work. I told him exactly why...It was the only chance I was going to have to ask her what happened. I knew that when he was talking to me that he was hiding something. Dawson then looked at me and broke down. He started crying and he told me that he only lied to me to protect me. He said it wasn't sexual and he didn't mean it in that sense. He said that it happens a lot down there and he isn't the only one who does it. That it only happened that one time and after he did it he realized he shouldn't have.
I believed him. He seemed like he really meant it and that he was sorry. I told him that I had just started trusting him again and now that trust is broken. I didn't want him working with her either. He said he would try his best to make sure they weren't scheduled together but it was more than likely going to be impossible to do that every day.
I knew it wasn't her fault, but for some reason I got angry with her and wanted her to be fired. Seeing her face only reminded me of it.
The trust that I was building back for Dawson was completely broken yet again. The drugs were painful for me, but cheating was a different kind of pain. I know it wasn't cheating in a lot of peoples eyes, but from my view I considered it just that.
I didn't know it then but I was never going to be able to trust Dawson again no matter how much I wanted to.
